At some house sale or another, my mom managed to find a videotape that would come to occupy many of our Sundays and save her sanity because it kept us fully engaged. It was called “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. My dad loved to watch sports any day of the week but on Sunday. While he relaxed, my sister and I would find whatever VHS tape we could and pop it in the VCR. On those days, when Willy Wonka was sarcastic, the Oompa Loompa’s were singing about virtues, and magic was coming alive on screen, my dad would emerge from his sports cocoon and enjoy the movie with us.

This year, Chosen turned one, we honored ten years of my dad’s passing, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory turned 50! Chosen and the Chocolate Factory: The Chosen ONEka made the perfect theme to honor so many milestones all happening simultaneously. I told Cairo’s good Godmother and my decorating lovebug Shandia that I wanted to recreate the classic Chocolate Factory Scene when Mr. Wonka first opened the doors to the room with the chocolate river.

Utopia Gardens in Adelaide was the perfect location. There was no chocolate river, but the marshlands and lake surrounding it came close. The space was also spread out enough to feel comfortable with our small numbers gathering there in the middle of the pandemic. As a family, we’ve been committed to following the COVID protocols no matter how frequently they change. On the weekend of Chosen’s birthday, there were 5 cases in the whole country. Almost all of us were fully vaccinated, and those who weren’t had taken a covid test.

To support all the details Shandia and her team laid out; I had my friend Crystal from A Sweet Experience use the caricature I had designed of Chosen to create custom cupcake toppers, party boxes, and party hats. We used that image on custom cookies from Goldensmiths and the custom cotton candy by Puffee.

Since Cairo’s first birthday, the Balloon People have been my go-to for balloon décor, and they didn’t disappoint with our custom balloon wall.

The birthday boy had to be dressed to fit the theme, and there is one person I turn to for all things kids’ clothing, Danielle Anusiem from Kalico Bay. Danielle created Chosen’s custom look playing on Wonka’s hat and classic bowtie and even incorporated floral details from Wonka’s shirt. She added little candy pieces to Chosen’s suspenders to top the look off, making him look even sweeter than usual!

Food was covered by Chosen’s good Goddie, D’asante, who happens to be the owner of The Busch Cook. She totally understood the assignment. The menu included:

OOMPA-LOOMPA SLIDERS

Beef

Chicken

Fish

SNOZZBERRY SALAD

Mixed Greens with Strawberry & Blueberry with Feta Cheese Crumble served with Mango Poppy Seed Dressing

WHANGDOODLES NOODLES

Spinach and tomato bowtie pasta

SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS CHOSEN ASSORTED WINGS

– Fried

– Guava BBQ

– Honey Garlic

When I tell you all this is the best party food I’ve ever had, believe me!

The cake was covered by my go-to baker Charlicia of Tamdelore Cakes, who gave us a chocolate factory cake worthy of the Food Network. Chosen’s Godmother Volanda, the owner of The Boutique Cake, delivered on the scrumdipliumptious cupcakes.

Sprinkle in Chosen’s god siblings and three of his cousins, and you have yourselves a party! Our guests walked away with more than a fun experience and great food. They also got Chosen’s custom party boxes which included a Chosen Oneka Bar in honor of Augustus Gloop, Blowing Bubbles in honor of Violet Beauregarde (actual gum was out because toddlers and gum are a no go); mini plastic eggs with stuffed animals inside for the rotten egg that was Veruca Salt, and sunglasses in honor of the TV goggles used to miniaturize Mike Teavee.

Let’s talk! Have you ever seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? What was your favorite part? Did we execute this theme well? Let me know in the comments!

Experience Chosen’s first birthday with us by watching this video put together by Three Amigos Media.

Of course no practice for millennial parents is without controversy and there continues to be a raging debate about whether such celebrations are necessary, whether or not they harm the feminist cause, and whether or not they do more harm than good regarding the world-wide debate on gender. You won’t find any of those debates here. To my mind, whether or not you have a gender reveal is totally up to you and those who criticise your choice to do so, or not do so, don’t belong in your happy space during such an emotional time.

My husband and I  opted to have a gender reveal because:

1. I thought it would be fun and

2.  I have an amazing team of girlfriends who are incredibly excited about meeting this little angel.

All we had to do was get our normal scan done, have the lab tech place the sex of the baby in an envelope, give the envelope to my older sister, and show up at the appointed time and place. My sister and best gal pals took it from there.

Some background info? People think I’m “extra” but they haven’t met my friends. The pictures below taken by the talented team from Three Amigos Media highlight some of the creative work they did in putting together my Circus Gender Reveal.

If you love what you see and you’re interested in creating something similarly unique, let me know in the comments and I’ll put you in contact with Patricia Roberts whose creative mind and hands make her the ultimate “Pinterest to Party Planner”.

To watch our gender reveal video, check out my YouTube Channel and be sure to subscribe https://youtu.be/K7DiWT4bI38.

Times have changed since my mom sat in a studio on a stool and held her stomach while smiling at the camera. Today we hold our stomachs while smiling at the camera underwater, in bathtubs filled with milk and flowers, or butt naked in a studio. Where you choose to shoot is totally up to you, but the first A in “Acing Your Maternity Photoshoot” speaks to “location, location, location”; let’s call it ARCHITECTURE.

Architecture refers to the character or style of a building, usually with some regard to aesthetic effect. What you choose to have in the background of your photos will have an effect when you look at them so it only makes sense to ensure that you love the background details.

I’ve always loved Cooper’s Castle in Grand Bahama. The architecture set the tone for a photoshoot worthy of my princess while adding elements of glamour and magic. Freeport is known as the Magic City and because I grew up there, I wanted my baby and this experience to have a connection to home. The castle is white, trimmed with blue and is set on gorgeous grounds that would allow us to take shots in different places all with an air of whimsy.  The architecture was perfect for what I wanted but the mood the photos would elicit might have another feel if the subjects of the photo weren’t dressed for the landscape. Here is where A number 2 in “Acing Your Maternity Photoshoot” comes in: ATTIRE.

Attire

Fashion tells a story. Pictures from the past paint portraits of life long before our time. Clothing can be used to celebrate things like the liberation of women as we review hemlines from the 1900’s to now. Your attire highlights the time in which you find yourself and I just happened to get pregnant during the era of the flower-crown-flowing-dress maternity scene. My attire is a true reflection of this maternity era so I won’t claim to be inventive, overly creative or a fashion icon in these shots but I will say that the colour scheme and styles I selected for my husband and I fit the theme and mood we wanted to create.

The flower crown (which cost like 10 bucks on Amazon) represents baby’s place as Queen of my heart. Its filled with the colors of the castle and highlightsthe blues worn by my husband. The pink dress (so cliche’) represents my baby girl and the simple David Yurman pendant is filled with colors of the crown.

(Makeup by https://www.instagram.com/colorluxe242/

Hair by https://www.instagram.com/tressesbycosmo/)

To capture our Bahamian roots and love of culture, Carlos is wearing an Androsia pink tie made by local Bahamian company “The Bold Catalouge” (https://www.facebook.com/TheBOLDCatalogue/). His suspenders represent the gentleman he is and type of man we hope she’ll marry and the classic blue pants and polished shoes speak to understated elegance.

If in doubt about what to wear, feel free to consult your photographer. I had two style options for both Carlos and I but made the decision with the consultation of the final A in “Acing Your Maternity Photoshoot”, the ARTIST taking our photos.

Artist

You might have gathered by now that I really wanted a magical photoshoot fit for a Princess, that meant I had to find someone who could bring the magic to my photographs. As you create your maternity shoot, it’s important to find someone whose work fits your vibe. You will also want to consider whether the photographer has taken pictures with the type of architectural landscape you have in mind, and if they have the actual equipment that is necessary to get the shots you are looking for. Your price point and the physical location of where you shoot also plays a factor. I was shooting in Grand Bahama Island which meant I needed a photographer on the island or the budget to fly one in. I chose Lyndah Wells who resides in Grand Bahama but does work all over the world. I’d seen Lyndah’s work several times and knew that she would have the right tactics and technology to get the shots I wanted.

This picture is an example of the lengths she was willing to go through to get the shot, including laying down in the grass in white pants on a day when it was 94 degrees out just so she could get that green foliage you see at the bottom. Lyndah also has a great personality that made shooting with her carefree and fun and when you are shooting for two hours in the hot sun, personality is important.

Other things to consider include the number of photos you will get as a part of your package, whether you or the photographer own the rights to those photos and the costs associated with printing them versus downloading them online.

Ultimately, I trusted Lyndah not just as a photographer, but as an artist to combine the carefully selected architecture and attire to create the masterpiece I hoped for. You can see more of her amazing work in the photos below.

Did I ace my maternity photoshoot? Let me know in the comments below!

Whether you love Christmas like me or you’d rather hear “bah humbug” over “ho, ho, ho” the following list of 5 Holiday Happenings You’ve Got to Attend This Christmas is sure to make your days merry and bright. Several of the events are specific to The Bahamas, but the concept is world wide so no matter where you find yourself this holiday season you can join in the fun.

Holiday Happening No. 1.: The Old Fort Bay Town Centre Christmas Extravaganza

Ever watched that scene in every Hallmark Christmas movie where all the people in the town come together around a big tree and the two star-crossed lovers finally kiss? The Old Fort Bay Town Centre Christmas Extravaganza is a more lit version of that. I can’t guarantee a star-crossed lover but I can guarantee you loving yourself. The 6th annual event takes place on Friday December 8 from 6-9 and features  Rhythm N’ Youth (children’s rake n scrape band), Special Blend (St. John’s College band, winners of the Music Project), Windsor Prep Choir, and a Junkanoo Rush-out. There is also FREE FOOD, WINE samples by Commonwealth Brewery and the plaza tenants who sell everything from high fashion to electronics and skin care will be hosting pop up shops and sales!

If for some strange reason you aren’t in The Bahamas for Christmas, add the event to your 2018 calendar and go check out a local festival or event designed to bring the community together.

Holiday Happening No. 2. #Pretty Party

If your local pink and green pretty girls aren’t hosting a holiday shindig with complimentary shots and special AKA mixes for purchase, some regular holiday work party will have to do. If however, you are in Nassau, Bahamas on December 15th, check out #Pretty happening at No. 25 Prospect Ridge. As a member of the most illustrious sorority, I’ll admit to being slightly biased but this party is going to be one for the ages. Tickets are $10 in advance, $15.00 at the door with proceeds going to provide scholarships to top female students from across The Bahamas.

Holiday Happening No. 3. Carolling

Remember the laughter that consumed you whenever you sang the “rude” version of Jingle Bells as a child? Well it still brings the same smile to your face as an adult. This time, try carolling with the right words and add in a verse of Joy to the World (you cannot be unhappy singing Joy to the World). Most churches sing Christmas carols around this time of year so stop on in even if its been a while. If you aren’t feeling church vibes but would still like to get down with your version of “Silent Night”, follow your local choirs on Facebook to find out where there Christmas performance will be. If you are in Nassau, Bahamas, check out Enue’s “Coffee & Carols” or Adrian Archer’s annual “Nine Lessons & Carols” ( this one is at a church too guys, sorry [not sorry]).

Holiday Happening No. 4. Family Gathering

Family is everything. Home Alone taught us how much we’d miss our loved ones if they left us on the holidays (even when they eat all the cheese pizza and get on our nerves). Family comes in different shapes and sizes. Some of us have lost loved ones, some of us aren’t close with our biological kin, but even if its co-workers, teammates, friends or your cats, make time to spend with those you love most.

Not really interested in cooking all of that holiday food on your own? No worries, with three course lunches as cheap as $45.00,  Sapodilla Restaurant has got you covered. If you aren’t in Nassau to experience fine dining at its best, there are sure to be local caterers and affordable eateries nearby. The point here is to grab your favourite people, get some good grub, throw in some laughter and make it a holly, jolly Christmas.

Holiday Happening No. 5. Junkanoo

If you haven’t attended the greatest festival on earth in a while, get your life together and head down to Bay Street on December 26 at 12:00 am or January 1 at 2:00 am. Can’t make either of those dates? Not to worry, Jr. Junkanoo happens on December 9th,  The Old Fort Bay Christmas Extravaganza ends with a junkanoo rush-out on December 8th and so does Sapodilla’s New Year’s Eve party!

If you live in The Bahamas you know that there is nothing quite like Junkanoo, the combination of colours, feathers, dancing, drums and musical melodies; the sheer artistry, the details, the coordination and the focus of the group members and of course the rivalry between the fans on the street and in the stands. The line up for both official parades are as follows:

Boxing Day
1)Valley
2)Genesis
3)Saxons
4)Roots
5)Music  Makers
6)One Family
7)Prodigal Sons

New Years Day:
1)Valley
2)One Family
3)Roots
4)Music Makers
5)Saxons
6)Prodigal Sons
7)Genesis

There you have it, 5 Holiday Happenings You’ve Got to Attend This Christmas. Now go forth and have a Happy Hype Holiday!

Now that my confession of Mommy failings is done, take a look at our Christmas photos taken by the phenomenal Disha Fraser of Cay Focus Photography. My makeup was done by the beautiful Beth Sherman AKA The Beauty Bee (find her on instagram @thebeautybee). We shot the images at the Old Fort Bay Club. For more details on how to style a shoot check out3 A’s for Acing Your Maternity Photoshoot. The images Disha captured are incredible but shooting a 2.5 month old at night after a cranky day is definitely not advised. Take it from me and capture images of your little ones in the morning!

What do you do when your plans literally go up in smoke? You carry on.

Carlos and I had our first public date at St Matthew’s Church. He was confirmed there. We were married there. My parents were married there. To say the church is important to our family is an understatement and while we would have loved to celebrate this major milestone in Cairo’s life there, we’ve long recognised that church exists outside four walls. All we needed for this sacrament was the outward and visible sign of water for the inward and spiritual and grace Cairo was about to receive by becoming a member of the body of believers. As a family, we visit Christ Church Cathedral regularly and we were fortunate to have the Dean of the Cathedral agree to accomodate us.

The Christening proceeded without incident after that and we were able to enjoy the four most important F’s there are; faith, family and food! Of course the fashionista in me had to make sure that “F” was represented  and so Cairo joined the church with a splash of pink. Christmas colours are traditionally red and green and Christening gowns are normally white but let’s face it, my girl is here to break barriers! And the AKA in me knew pink was a must. We worked the pink, grey and white angle into the Christmas atmosphere by calling the reception a “Cairo Winter Wonderland”.

We chose Christmas Eve becauseI love Christmas! ( have you read this blog before?) There is also something extra special about the baby Jesus and the joy he brings. I wanted Cairo to forever be associated with that grace extended to us on the first Christmas.

Vendor Shout Out

The fabulous photos below were taken by Mick Massar for 3amigos media.

The Beauty Bee, Beth Sherman did my make up.

Cairo’s gorgeous christening gown was by Ria Georgina.

Cairo’s centre cake and cross cupcakes were made by The Boutique Cake and Natasha Major made the caramel cheesecake and the vanilla cake with cheesecake filling.

Shandia Saunders of The Co-Planner’s organised the reception and decor.

After 15 hours of labor, and an epidural that soothed me, Cairo Aria came into the world after six minutes of pushing. Labor had been virtually uncomplicated with the exception of a few seconds before she came when her heartbeat dropped slightly. Nevertheless, after the pediatrician checked her over and placed her on my chest, she was perfect.

Then something we could not have expected happened, I fainted from an elevated heart rate and had to be rushed from the maternity ward. Two days went by without me seeing her before doctors determined that whatever was causing me to be sick likely wouldn’t pass to her and let me see her again. By that time I had been given so much medication and away from her for so long that breastfeeding wasn’t an option. We weren’t able to try again for two more weeks and by that point, my baby girl was attached to the swift flow of the nipple from a bottle.

I would put her to the breast and she would scream in frustration. Her tiny face would turn beat red as she yelled and her little fists would pound against my hard boobs hurting my nipples and wounding my pride. I sought out two more lactation specialists none offering any more help than the previous one. I remember one saying “well she just won’t latch” as if that ended the conversation. I was devastated.

I was even more depressed when a well-meaning and beloved family member suggested that I just stop and give her the bottle. “Some babies just don’t like breasts,” she said, “stop trying and give her a bottle.” Her comments were as bad as another family member who had breastfed for two years and called every day to ask “has she latched yet? Is it going better?” I know that they were both trying to help but because I’d internalized every blog that said “breast is best” all it did was make me feel like a failure.

I’d been pumping all along and giving her bottles of breast milk so she was still getting the nutrients and antibodies people swore would protect her but not being able to feed her directly from my breast was weighing on me.
I was determined to make it happen though and finally at three months, Cairo latched! We went on to breastfeed together for a year. The miracle finally happened with the constant support of my husband and some amazing breastfeeding moms who encouraged me. Here is what I did and 5 steps you can take to get a baby to breastfeed who won’t latch:

1. Always put your baby to the breast even if they don’t suck.

I put Cairo to the breast every time I was about to pump. She didn’t latch often but the presence of her mouth on my boobs helped with milk flow and got her use to the idea that this was a place she should naturally be. If you are going to do this, be sure to not do it while the baby is hungry.

2. Feed baby post pumping

I would try feeding Cairo after I pumped. At this point, the nipple is elongated and has some milk on it. This made it easier for her to understand that this is where she should get milk from and took away the hard work of pulling the milk down on her own, it was almost instant like sucking from a bottle.

3. Use a nipple shield

Nipple shields are plastic coverings with holes that go over a nipple. The plastic texture allows a baby to believe they are drinking from a bottle. The posture helps them to be familiar with feeding that close to their mother and eventually for me and Cairo I was eventually able to put the nipple shield away because she got used to being in that position. If you do use this method you might need to try several nipple shields to find the best fit for you physically and for baby’s comfort.

4. If you can – latch your newborn immediately after delivery

All of the steps above were done after Cairo was already here but if you are reading this before you deliver, I want to encourage you to have your baby latch as soon as you deliver. Discuss this with your doctor, midwife, and partner beforehand so they know this is your intention. Unless the doctor is concerned about the baby’s weight, insist that they do not give the baby a bottle of any kind until you’ve perfected the latch. I want to emphasize that the doctor has to be ok with this. Ultimately a fed baby is a healthy baby so do not insist to the detriment of your little one.

5. Be kind to yourself.

Many women have struggled with nipple confusion and babies who don’t latch but many of us have been able to make it work. Affirm yourself often and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Remember that your baby is not rejecting you. No matter how personal it may feel they are simply learning and you can shape that learning by using the methods above.

You’ve got this mama!

In my previous post, I shared how much Cairo and I struggled to get breastfeeding right. We worked on it for over three months before she finally latched. My son Cruz Axl latched right away but there were times in our breastfeeding routine when I was concerned that he might also be suffering from nipple confusion. Having gone through what I did with Cairo, those moments induced panic and fear that I would be back there again. My changing body also struggled with aches and pains including mastitis from overproduction and joint pain from bad posture while feeding. Add in a pandemic, lack of sleep, and a screaming toddler to the mix and breastfeeding the second time around has been a real challenge.

With both of my kids, support on this journey has made all the difference and kept me from quitting. I wrote this blog specifically for partners who may need some help in figuring out how to support the breastfeeding mom.

1. Be kind.

Post-pregnancy hormones are real and many of us are already struggling emotionally with feelings of worthiness. Please reaffirm by reminding us that we are doing a good job and that we are loved.

2. Be there physically.

Find out if we need you to burp the baby in between feeds or to rock or hold the baby if the baby is gassy. Be there to assist us with transitioning breast feeding positions. Whether or not your partner has had a c-section, our bodies have gone through a beautiful but traumatic experience that can take its toll physically. Assist your partner with getting up and sitting down.

3. Make sure your partner is comfortable.

Make sure the feeding position that your partner is sitting or lying in is comfortable. Does she need extra pillows? Water nearby? Soft music? Candles? Set the environment that will bring calm to a sometimes stressful situation.

4. Read and research

This blog is one of many offering support to mothers and parents. Moms can be so busy dealing with motherhood that they may not have the free time they want or need to pick up helpful information. That’s where you come in! Read and research things that might make the parenting journey easier for your partner. Tactfully offer the wisdom you’ve gained if we raise questions or concerns.

5. Offer to help

Do not be the partner that says “Honey if I could do it for you I would” and then proceed to not do anything! Help by doing simple things like washing and putting away breast pumps and storing milk in the freezer.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to subscribe to the Anastarcia Youtube Channel, follow me on Instagram, and Like to Know It @homeofstars!

I exclusively pumped for the first three months of my daughter’s life. It wasn’t a choice. My hospitalization post-delivery meant that she and I were not able to establish a latch right away and so to make sure she still got the benefits of breast milk,  I pumped. Shortly after she latched, I got sick again and had to stop breastfeeding for a week while pumping and dumping due to my medication. Thankfully she had a freezer full of pumped milk that she ran through. Back then I pumped 6-8 ounces regularly and 10-12 ounces on my best days.

With my son, I’ve been pumping a minimum of 12 ounces since the third day after my milk came and averaging 20 ounces a pump. I have three full freezers of milk after 2 months and we aren’t stopping anytime soon. This is in addition to the milk he gets directly from me through breastfeeding. The difference in milk increase is astounding but I’ve figured out what helps my milk to flow and I’m happy to share it with you. Here is how to increase your milk supply.

1. Coconut Water

Coconut water is jam-packed with nutrients that replenish all you’re losing through the postpartum and breastfeeding process. I drink a minimum of 4 8oz cups a day. I live on an island so mine comes directly from the trees but if you don’t have access to that try organic coconut water options in your local store.

2. Antenatal Vitamins

Keep taking your vitamins. I still use prenatal vitamins I was prescribed during pregnancy. I’ve found that taking these consistently along with the coconut water has helped.

3. Oatmeal Must Be a Meal

Eat oatmeal. Whenever I’ve gone too long without oatmeal or coconut water my supply dips from 24oz to 12oz. I won’t lie. My sister just casually revealed she hates oatmeal and I couldn’t help feeling slightly betrayed. If you aren’t a fan, get your oats my favorite way, with cookies.

4. Water, Water, Water!

Drink at least 8 cups of 8 oz water each day. I drink a minimum of two 24 oz cups each day but I aim for four 24 oz cups. Breast milk is LIQUID gold for a reason. It is necessary to have all that liquid going in to get all that liquid out. 

5. Pump It Up

Set a pumping schedule and stick to it. The more you feed directly from the breast and pump as early as possible, the more your body thinks it needs to produce and therefore produces.